World Sex News

After forty-one-and-a-half years of owning these genitals (and twenty-three years of knowing what they were for), you’d think that I’d have exhausted every possible way of making them feel good.

You would be wrong.

The images burned into my brain from a super-hot night left me so squirmy and unable to work that once my children left for school I ripped off all my clothes and dived back into bed. Having recently untangled the ridiculous snake-nest that had developed in the cords of my favorite solo-time companions, I tested out one, then another, before finally settling on the third as that day’s Toy of Choice.

In memory of the surprisingly deep pounding I’d taken the night before I brought my Daddy to bed with me, but the combination of last night’s fucking and this morning’s wanking made my muscles do exactly what they’re designed to do — which is to push out. No matter how much I arched my back and tried to hold Daddy under me my body wasn’t cooperating. The dildo turned into a missile; before it could knock anything off the bureau I sat up into a variation of a Pigeon, which held Daddy so tightly into me it could not slip away. With the Wahl wedged against my clit and Daddy neatly captured I ground and screamed myself into exhaustion. 1

I’m such a master at awkward that I’ve never felt comfortable with woman-on-top, but this new discovery inspires me. If I faced away from my partner and managed to tuck my bent leg between his legs, mightn’t it work for intercourse?

Expect updates as this story develops.

1. Have you tried this? You really should try this, because it felt screamingly great, to the point that I’m glad the hot weather has followed us into September and prohibited the turning off of air conditioning and the opening of windows. Promise me you’ll try this. You’ll thank me later.

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This post, New Discovery, originally appeared on aag on Friday, September 3, 2010. Tweet This Post!

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Long-standing tradition dictates that once the screaming stops and the swelling subsides (mostly subsides), I will position myself so that he can have free access to my breasts.

This would be easier were I naked but lately I’ve liked the feeling of my nipples popping out over something — and the more times they can pop out the better. Given the right outfit they can be tucked away and then spill forth dozens of times, each time more surprising than the last. 1

While we relax and talk his hands never stop moving. He plays along with my surprise-nipple fetish, pulling my top down to pinch and knead and cup hot handfuls and I want it never to stop. “I’d like to have this done to me all day long,” I say.

It would, he agrees, be nifty to possess a bra with a cunning built-in device that would mimic hands capable of caressing and tweaking and cupping all day long.

“No,” I say, “I’d rather just have you follow me around with your hands in my bra.”

Do you think anyone would notice?

1. Yes, I know they’re in there and that they’re going to come back out. It’s still sexy and surprising. Is that so wrong?

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This post, A New Kind of Bra, originally appeared on aag on Thursday, September 2, 2010. Tweet This Post!

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This post, So true, originally appeared on aag on Wednesday, September 1, 2010. Tweet This Post!

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