The Next Destination: erotic philosophy

My erotic mind adventures aren’t typical. I’m really not into the whole pussy, cock, fuck thing. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the full scope of eroticism and sex but my erotic mind has changed. I suppose I can blame it on my introduction to sexual philosophy.

I wrote my philosophy professor seeking guidance about which way to go with my studies since my main interest is the field of sexuality. Do I approach it from the psychological or philosophical point of view? The first question I had to answer was just what was I trying to accomplish?

Presently, those who discuss philosophical aspects of sexuality are scholars whose academic papers are challenging to read and if you want to understand them, I might suggest a PhD degree or an interpreter. Many top philosophers don’t even think sexuality from a philosophical perspective is important to discuss. I disagree.

Considering that sexuality is the number one driving force of the human species, I’d say it’s certainly a topic worthy of heavy thought. I’m not talking about discussing sexuality from the erotic mind that takes pleasure in a dirty little story and then masturbates to it. I’m discussing the erotic mind that seeks inquiry as to how philosophical theories shape human thought, ethics and laws. One might argue (and many do) that sexuality is a private matter but unlike Bush politics forcing their way to exploit private affairs of others, the world of sex seems to have gone mainstream with a lot of willingness.

Sex is everywhere, even in my nine-year-old’s Winx cartoons. Okay, maybe not “sex” but sexy and when the media dresses little super heroes into sweet, sexy outfits with tiny waistlines and long, lean legs and big breasts, there is little surprise young kids today are confused about what sexy or sex actually means or is. Let me give you an example.

My daughter has a boy admirer. That’s cool. She gleams as she writes H loves M with markers. The problem is that he wrote her a note saying H loves M = sex.

Um…ooookay. This of course brought up a conversation I really didn’t want to have with a nine year old but I had little choice. It’s obvious this boy has no clue as the relation of liking a girl and sex as he and other kids in this third grade class seem to merge them together like coffee and cream. Being that most philosophers can’t even agree on a united sexual theory, confusion about sex is about as mainstream as raunchy MTV music videos.

Mainstream over-sexualization is overflowing into other areas as well, such as the topsy-turvy view on pornography and what constitutes as acceptable or non-acceptable porn and who actually has the “right” to view what. And of course, the hot topic of sex brings us to the issue of feminine rights. In other words, sex rules and because it rules, society creates boundaries to alleviate the possible harm too much sexual exposure or inappropriate sexual conduct can cause. That’s where my sexual passion brews into a boil.

What happens when lawmakers – male lawmakers, hinder feminine choices yet blatantly allow overly sexualized media to dominate without offering proper information about sex in the first place, i.e. abstinence as the “ethical” way to go? What kinds of impressions are being given to various generations about what they’re being told to do or not do when sex is all around them? Well, there’s a lot to be said on that, isn’t there? In a patriarchal world, it seems women are getting just enough choices to believe they have freedom yet hypocritically governments have the final word as though they wore the pants in the social family. Unfortunately, women are caught like witches fighting to defend that which can only be understood from a feminine viewpoint. However, by not understanding the framework from which many Western cultures mandate legal and ethical standards, women are set up to loose the battle. This is where erotic philosophy becomes important.

I know most women will never study philosophy. It’s a bit mind-boggling to grasp, for one. Second, it’s a “man’s” field (not limited to of course) and I say that because philosophy is governed by something men grasp on to with fervor: Reason. The whole debate of Emotion and Intuition belongs under the classification of Feminist Ethics and female theories often refuted as too subjective of a view to take seriously. In fact, Reason persists in our world not only because we live in a male-dominate society but also because Reason helps weed out the emotional crap we women deal with at least once a month when that little bloody friend visits. Personally, that friend is a pain in my you know what and the very fact that my female parts require it is enough reason for me to argue in favor of feminist thought and rights through whatever means I can employ. Pardon me for getting emotional.

There is no denying Reason’s importance. If everyone made decisions based solely on emotion, we’d be a pretty messed up world. But wait! We are a messed up world. I find this interesting since Reason is the primary factor by which we judge and create those social norms, standards and expectations out of. It seems to me that Reason needs a friend and like all duality in life, it’s not yin-yang unless both sides stick together. So, I propose that philosophy – erotic philosophy – encompass both, Reason and Intuition/Emotion because let’s face it, sex requires both.

What astounded me during sexual ethics class was in this focused “genre” of the philosophy field, only a handful of women were even mentioned. The most radical feminist inclusion was Simone de Beauvoir, a French philosopher I have yet to fully sink my teeth into. At first I was taken aback by her statements: "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman", meaning women have the choice to accept a secondary role that has been “assigned” to them and "Women have enjoyed the advantages of the position of the Other, in that they feel comfortable being supported by men." Here Beauvoir claims that women gain from a subservient role and freely gave up their Freedom in the acceptance of male domination.

I was insulted another woman could imply women were to blame but then philosophy and sex began to seep deeper into my erotic mind and I realized she had a valid point, which I won’t discuss here.

The problem with it is that Beauvoir places the blame right onto women’s laps and because women have been blamed for so much in our history, it’s difficult to swallow especially if swallowing isn’t your thing. We’ve got to mentally prepare.

In light of particular controversies such as the HPV vaccine, which became a huge outcry by the religious right primarily because in order to protect your daughter from contracting cervical cancer by this virus, one had to administer this vaccine to pre-teen girls before they became sexually active, Christians interpreted it as “permission” for girls to have sex. This went completely against abstinence focused programs and thought. However, it has now been found that boys can contract this virus too, even if they’ve performed cunninglus only a handful of times. Wow! Anyone want to take a stab at how many men might have this virus? Since the prospect of men contracting this has now become a fact, the entire view shifted into a semi-calm; most likely pre-teen boys will get the vaccine too. The problem is that there’s no major outcry because this is no longer a “feminine issue”. Shall I even get into the abortion debate? I’d rather not but you see where I’m going. If men were the ones who gave birth, the legal battles around of abortion wouldn’t be quite what they are.

Since the patriarchal views of society seem to dominate in all aspects of our lives, whether women realize it or not, women need to do two primary things: educate themselves and speak up - louder. I don’t know about you but I have two daughters whom I’ve given up a lot for and I’m not about to see them loose their feminine rights. If anything, I want to guarantee more than they have.

This of course makes me sound like a typical feminist but I’m not. I respect men and their Reason but I expect the same respect for my Emotion. Life cannot exist without their coexistence and since I’m talking about the erotic mind, I feel it is imperative to bring philosophical inquiry and information to the masses from the dual viewpoint of Reason and Emotion as they are intricately linked into the fabric of our human experience.

Sexual philosophy requires us to view the broad spectrum of its implications, theorizing about the many facets of sex to the way women and men are heard and what they are exposed to from a perspective they may not have considered. So through the advice of my professor, I’ve decided that my career pursuit will be focused on an area of study that needs more female voices so that laws and social contracts can be created based on the kind of definitions and wording that patriarchy does not allow mainly because a man can never understand a woman, her private parts or her true domination in the sexual role.

To ensure that I help contribute positive influences in the field of sexuality, erotic philosophy has become my mantra. For now, I can simplify what scholars talk about and hope that these new insights into the complexity of sexuality can trickle down to the Janes of the world who deserve more respect than they’re actually getting. It’s nice to say women have rights. It’s quite another to underhandedly enact laws which prohibit or restrict the freedoms our mothers fought for. I’m not sure the young generation really understands what’s at stake here. Begin with restricting abortion laws (as currently happening in the U.S) and before you know it, patriarchy will justify further restrictions on other feminine freedoms until women will wonder what the hell happened.

I can only guess you’re like me; I feel confident with organic brain and a reasonable level of consciousness inherited as a birthright to make personal decisions concerning sex and ethical actions. The “problem” is that I don’t have a dick. But the power doesn’t lie within the groin. It lies within the mind. Those who tap into that power will be those who gain control. Erotic philosophy isn’t gender specific philosophy, though aspects of it must be because it acts as stepping stones for the ultimate union of the masculine and feminine. I think sexual/erotic philosophy has the potential to unite the sexes and bring us further into understanding gender differences so that we may find a compromising route to personal and sexual fulfillment, for ourselves and together as a species.

It’s an ambitious destination but one I believe is possible to reach at some point in humanity’s future.

Namaste,
Tatiana Von Tauber
www.vontauber.com